>
> A
>
> blonde and her husband are lying in
>
> bed
> Listening to the next door neighbor’s
>
> dog.
> It has been in the backyard barking for
>
> hours and hours.
> The blonde jumps up out of
>
> bed and says,
> “I’ve had enough of
>
> this”.
> She goes downstairs.
>
> The blonde
>
> finally comes back up to bed
> And her husband
>
> says “The dog is still barking,
> What have you
>
> been doing?”
>
> The blonde says,
> “I put
>
> the dog in our backyard,
> let’s see how THEY
>
> like it!
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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>
>
> Two
>
> Blondes With Hammers…
>
> Lynn and Judy were
>
> doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
>
> House. Lynn was nailing down house siding,
>
> would reach into her nail Pouch, pull out a nail and
>
> either toss it over her shoulder or nail it
>
> in.
>
> Judy, figuring this was worth looking into,
>
> asked, ‘Why are you
> Throwing those nails away?’
>
> Lynn explained, ‘When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
>
> about half of Them have the head on the wrong end and
>
> I throw them away.’ Judy got completely upset and
>
> yelled, ‘You moron! Those nails aren’t
> Defective!
>
> They’re for the other side of the
>
> house!’
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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>
>
> Did
>
> you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a
>
> drive-in movie?
>
> They had gone to see ‘Closed
>
> for the
>
> Winter.’
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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>
>
>
>
> You
>
> might have to think twice about this one.
>
> A
>
> blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night
>
> with the tip Of her index finger shot off. ‘How did
>
> this happen?’ the emergency Room doctor asked
>
> her.
>
> ‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’
>
> the blonde replied.
>
> ‘What?’ sputtered the
>
> doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting Off
>
> your finger?’
>
> ‘No, Silly’ the blonde said.
>
> ‘First I put the gun to my chest, and
> Then I
>
> thought, ‘I just paid $6, 000.00 for these
>
> implants…
>
> I’m not shooting myself in the
>
> chest.’
>
> ‘So then?’ asked the
>
> doctor.
>
> ‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I
>
> thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00 To get my teeth
>
> straightened I’m not shooting myself in the
>
> mouth.’
>
> ‘So then?’
>
> ‘Then I put the gun
>
> to my ear, and I thought: ‘This is going to make a
>
> Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before
>
> I pulled the
>
> Trigger.
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> A
>
> blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in
>
> a really bad Hailstorm. Her car was covered with
>
> dents, so the next day she took it To a repair shop.
>
> The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
>
> Decided to have some fun… He told her to go home and
>
> blow into the Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents
>
> would pop out.
>
> So, the blonde went home, got
>
> down on her hands and knees and started Blowing into
>
> her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
>
> Harder, and still nothing happened.
>
> Her blonde
>
> roommate saw her and asked, ‘What are you doing?’ The
>
> first Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed
>
> her to blow into the Tail pipe in order to get all the
>
> dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and
>
> said, ‘Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows
>
> first.’
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>
> These
>
> are just too cute not to pass
>
> on!!!!
>
>
>
> A
>
> blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny
>
> silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it,
>
> so she picked it up and took It to the clerk to ask
>
> what it was.
>
> The clerk said, ‘Why, that’s a
>
> thermos….. It keeps hot things hot, And cold things
>
> cold.’
>
> ‘Wow, said the blonde, ‘that’s
>
> amazing….I’m going to buy it!’ So she Bought the
>
> thermos and took it to work the next day.
>
> Her
>
> boss saw it on her desk. ‘What’s that,’ he
>
> asked?
>
> ‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot
>
> things hot and cold things Cold,’ she
>
> replied..
>
> Her boss inquired, ‘What do you have
>
> in it?’
>
> The blond replied……’Two popsicles
>
> and some coffee.’
>
> +++++++++++++
>
> AND LAST
>
> BUT NOT LEAST
>
> A blonde goes into work one
>
> morning crying her eyes out.
>
> Her boss asked
>
> sympathetically, ‘What’s the matter?’
>
> The
>
> blonde replies, ‘Early this morning I got a phone call
>
> saying that My mother had passed away.’
>
> The
>
> boss, feeling sorry for her, says, ‘Why don’t you go
>
> home for the Day? Take the day off to relax and
>
> rest.’
>
> ‘Thanks, but I’d be better off here. I
>
> need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance
>
> of doing that here.’
>
> The boss agrees and allows
>
> the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass
>
> and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks
>
> out from his office and sees the blonde crying
>
> hysterically…
>
> ‘What’s so bad now? Are you
>
> gonna be okay?’ he asks.
>
> ‘No!’ exclaims the
>
> blonde. ‘I just received a horrible call from my
>
> sister. Her mother died, too!’
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Blondes
>
> Are The Best!!!
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